We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize