You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
