This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
