I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
