dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
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you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
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Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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