She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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