He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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