so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
