what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
