That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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