Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
