I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
