he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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