She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize