I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
