You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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