'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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