So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
