Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
