babies were throwing up all over the place
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize