i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
