like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
