East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He had one of those small greek statue penises
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
