mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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