My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
