Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
