I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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