six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
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Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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