I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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