dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize