so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
