stop calling my apartment porn island.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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