I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
