everyone is single if you try hard enough
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
