You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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