Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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