i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize