I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
