Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
