I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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