Whod you bang
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
