It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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