So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
