Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
