Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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