Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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