it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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