dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
