If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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