I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize