No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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