I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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