He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
